Otitus Thoughts #1: Pain, DIY Montréal Steak Spice

Fuck otitis externa!

Have you ever had an ear infection before? Do you know the feeling of a blunted torx wrench reaming slowly through your beleaguered ear drums? Pop! Pop! Crackle! Crackle!

Fucking hurts like fun-fucking-crazy! Who the fuck invented that pain? What an asshole!

Anyway, I got a new dehydrator last Christmas, and tentatively pulled off my very first dehydrated pineapple and banana chips. They turned out awesome. Well, I had a couple banana chips, but my son ate the rest.

He normally returns the bananas, so… ?

Both were about to go bad, and I knew that if I cut the pineapple up, it was going into the (fridge) dark hole of Calcutta to die an agonizing, death spiral before we solemnly swore to never again let another pineapple go to waste.

So I cut them up, and pulled out the dehydrator. I have to say, it works well, but it is a noisy appliance. So far, I think the family is used to my little, shall we say, “experiments,” (ice cream maker, crock pots, this monstrosity.

As an aside, I’ll admit to buying the perfect pancake. It wasn’t perfect, nor my finest hour in the kitchen. Ha ha! Lesson learned.

So, I got a hit on my Facebook post about the dehydrator. It’s an old colleague of mine, (a sous chef to this boutique hotel I worked for) with a FUCKING GREAT IDEA on what to use the dehydrator for:

Make fresh steak spice! It’s the best. Dry garlic, onions, sweet peppers and chilies, add a small pinch of sugar, plenty of kosher salt and cracked black pepper and BOOM!

Hmm? Develop my own spice mix and rub? Fuck yes!

Use offset smoker to smoke garlic and onions (that I could later I grow myself, if I EVER slay the Procrastination demon…) Ugh, Fuck yes!

Aside… That sous chef is a fantastic sous chef that got caught up in a bullshit web of bullshit concocted by the chef. His passion for good food is fucking amazing, and it’s that asshole that planted the seeds of real barbecue (low and slow, over charcoals or wood fire.)

He gave me a free sample of a pit master barbecue, and some heirloom pork that opened my eyes to that realm.

I think I will take the idea one step further. To keep it more “local,” try to use a salt from this area. Saint Lawrence? A Québec salt.

I’m off to individually write my goals. This will be going on one of those lists. I’ll look to posting more about that in my chaotic shiny future,

Perhaps I won’t even procrastinate on that.


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