Jason Sandeman, R.S.E.

Category: Cooking

  • Papa Gonna Tell Ya Something: Are Plastic Cutting Boards Trying to Kill Us?

    Papa Gonna Tell Ya Something: Are Plastic Cutting Boards Trying to Kill Us?

    Alright, settle down, folks. Lately, Papa’s been reading some doom-and-gloom about plastic cutting boards shedding microplastics—like Dominic Mysterio trying to cut a promo. Is it true? Are we ingesting tiny bits of cutting board every time we chop an onion? Let’s cut through the noise (pun intended) and see what’s really going on.

    The Claims

    This article—and a lot of chatter online—says plastic cutting boards might be shedding microplastics into our food. The idea is that every time you slice, dice, and julienne your way to glory, you’re scoring the surface of the board. Over time, those scratches turn into tiny plastic particles that could make their way into your food. Add to that the concern about bacteria hiding in those grooves, and suddenly your cutting board feels like a weapon of culinary destruction.

    Papa’s Take on the Science

    Let’s be real: plastic does wear down over time. And yeah, there’s some truth to the idea that microplastics are everywhere these days—in our water, our air, and even our bodies. But here’s the thing: not all cutting boards are created equal, and the level of risk depends on how you use and care for your tools.

    • Cheap Plastic Boards: If you’re using a flimsy, dollar-store cutting board, you might be carving out more than just your chicken. Cheap boards wear out faster and develop grooves where bacteria and plastic bits can hide.
    • Quality Plastic Boards: Solid boards made of high-density polyethylene (HDPE) are durable, easier to clean, and less likely to flake off into your food.

    So, What’s a Cook to Do?

    Papa says, keep your cutting board game strong with these tips:

    1. Rotate Your Roster: Like a wrestler who knows when to hang up the boots, don’t hold onto your plastic board forever. If it starts looking like ECW or AEW just had a hardcore match with it (deep grooves and stains), it’s time to replace it.
    2. Keep It Clean: Use hot water and soap after each use. Feeling fancy? Throw in a vinegar rinse or a hydrogen peroxide scrub every now and then to keep bacteria at bay.
    3. Go Hybrid: No rule says you have to stick to one type of cutting board. Use plastic for raw meats (easy to sanitize) and wood for veggies, bread, and everything else. Wood boards are naturally antibacterial and don’t shed microplastics. Win-win.
    4. Upgrade When You Can: Serious about your kitchen game? Invest in a quality cutting board.
      • Glass? Forget it—those things will ruin your knives.
      • Bamboo? Great for light cutting.
      • End-grain wood? Chef’s kiss.

    The Bottom Line

    Yeah, microplastics are a thing, but your cutting board isn’t the boogeyman here. Treat it with respect, keep it clean, and replace it when it’s past its prime. At the end of the day, a sharp knife and a solid board are your tag-team champions in the kitchen.

    Papa’s Secret Weapon

    Pro tip: When buying a new cutting board, look for one with a juice groove. That little moat saves your counter from becoming a pool of raw chicken juice. You’re welcome.

  • Papa Sandemano’s Vegetarian Lentil Soup (Inspired by Marcella Hazan)

    Papa Sandemano’s Vegetarian Lentil Soup (Inspired by Marcella Hazan)

    GET TO THE POINT, PAPA—JUST GIVE ME THE RECIPE!

    A Tradition of Lentils and Luck

    In the Sandemano family, New Year’s traditions combine practicality and superstition:

    • ❌ No fowl on New Year’s Day—we don’t want our luck flying away.
    • ✅ Yes to lentils—because they look like coins (and we could all use a little more prosperity, right?).

    This year, Papa’s taking on the challenge of creating a vegetarian version of Marcella Hazan’s lentil soup for the Sous Chef (a.k.a. a picky eater who objects to eating animals). Will it work? Maybe. Mess it up? Probably. But that’s how we learn, folks. Papa Sandemano always steps into the kitchen like it’s their wrestling ring: ready to win—or at least put on a hell of a show.

    Speaking of Marcella, let’s just say: love her, but measuring butter, onions, carrots, and celery by the tablespoon? It threw Papa, who spent an embarrassing amount of time Googling why anyone would do this. Papa’s theories:

    1. She had someone chopping for her.
    2. She prepped a giant batch of “soffrito” in advance.
    3. She had to or the powers-that-be wouldn’t publish her books.

    Oh, and “soffrito”? Don’t let that Italian word intimidate you—it’s their fancy word for onion, carrots, and celery. Like the French and their “mirepoix”. Same idea, different language.

    The Recipe

    Fine! Here’s the recipe! If you read this already—Thanks for reading this far! Papa promises the rambling is done… for now.

    Ingredients

    • Butter: ¼ cup (see below for Papa’s rant on butter measurement)
    • Onion: Approx. ¼ small yellow onion, finely diced
    • Carrot: Approx. 2 inches of a medium carrot, finely diced
    • Celery: Approx. 3 inches of a celery stalk, finely diced
    • Smoked Paprika: 1 teaspoon
    • Tomatoes: 1 cup canned tomatoes with juice
    • Lentils: ½ pound dried lentils
    • Liquid: 1 liter tap water (or, if you’re feeling fancy, “mushroom broth”)
    • Flavoring Agent: 3 teaspoons Better Than Bouillon (vegetable base)
    • Vegemite: ¼ teaspoon (Papa’s secret weapon for umami depth)
    • Salt and freshly ground black pepper
    • Parmesan or nutritional yeast for serving

    Instructions

    1. Melt ½ of the butter (2 small pieces) in a pot over medium heat. Add the onion and sauté until golden.
    2. Add the carrot and celery, stirring occasionally, and cook for 2-3 minutes to build the “soffrito” flavors. (Don’t let that Italian word intimidate you—it’s their fancy word for onion, carrots, and celery. Like the French and their ‘mirepoix.’)
    3. Lower the heat and sprinkle the smoked paprika over the “soffrito”. Stir gently for about 30 seconds, just until the aroma develops.
    4. Add the tomatoes and stir, scraping up any bits from the bottom of the pot like you’re deglazing. Let the mixture bubble gently for 25 minutes, stirring occasionally.
    5. Stir in a dab of Vegemite (Papa’s secret weapon). Start with ¼ teaspoon—it’s bold, but it brings depth. A little goes a long way
    6. Add the lentils, liquid, (and its flavoring agent. Bring to a steady simmer, cover, and cook until the lentils are tender (about 45 minutes). Add more liquid if needed.
    7. Stir in the remaining butter (2 small pieces) just before serving to give the soup a luxurious finish.
    8. Taste and adjust seasoning.
    9. Serve with Parmesan (or nutritional yeast) or a drizzle of olive oil.

    Papa Wanna Get Something Off Thier Chest: Stop Playing with Your Butter

    Listen up! Papa’s got something to say, and it’s time you stopped playing with your butter. You know what grinds Papa’s gears? Recipes telling you to measure “3 tablespoons of butter.” Who has time for that? Who wants to dig out a sticky tablespoon just to appease a recipe?

    • ❌ Not you
    • ❌ Not Papa
    • ❌ Not the dishwasher—They already giving you the side-eye thinking, “Whatcha gonna do with that?”

    Here’s the deal: Let’s simplify it. Look at the butter package:

    Here’s what Papa means–Look at the handy-dandy ¼ cup line. Cut there. It doesn’t have to be perfect!

    Now cut that into four pieces. Boom—four tablespoons. Use half (2 pieces) for cooking and save the rest for swirling in at the end. And if those pieces aren’t perfectly even? WHO CARES? Papa says, “Close enough is good enough!”

    This isn’t rocket science; it’s butter. Butter doesn’t judge. Butter just makes things taste amazing. And guess what? With butter, there’s no losing—only flavor-packed wins.

    Optional: For Meat Lovers

    If you’re serving omnivores alongside vegetarians, crisp up some pancetta, prosciutto, or bacon in a separate pan. Let everyone top their bowl as they like—because soup should make everybody happy.

  • Asian-Style Scallions

    Scallions (green onions, spring onions) cut on a 45° bias. Size depends on use:

    • For garnish: 1-3 mm max. (Sometimes rhetorical angle can be more extremely acute angle.)
    • For soups: 2-4 mm max.

    Slice for service (it’s best cut fresh) with a very sharp knife or you will mash the onion.

    References:

    The BEST line ever, “Now you can WOK and ROLL!“

  • The start of something awesome

    Site icon
    The start of something awesome