“The scariest moment is always just before you start.” – Stephen King
I’m embarking on a journey that terrifies me: writing every day for a year. I have crippling impostor syndrome, and the idea that anyone would read my content blows my mind. What’s so special about me? Who do I think I am?
These questions haunt me, especially when I see my children looking up to me. I try to avoid using negative self-talk around them, but it’s hard. Whenever I fail, I hear those phrases, over and over again. My way of learning often involves attributing pain to the lesson, which usually means beating myself up mentally.
Recently, I stumbled upon the VOMIT system on YouTube during my endless quest to manage my brain better. VOMIT stands for “Vomiting Out My Ideas Transparently.” It’s about writing without fear of judgment, just getting the words out there.
I’ve been journaling for a while now, but I recently got into YouTube videos about streamlining life and setting and realizing goals. In one of those videos, I saw a creator tasked with drawing the same thing every day. He did, and it opened up all sorts of doors for him. That inspired me. I thought, if I actually write and put myself out there daily, maybe it will lead to me becoming a writer and knowing what to do.
So here I am, declaring myself a writer. For the foreseeable future, I will write every single day. This space is my canvas, and I pay for it, so I should use it.
Who Am I?
I am a person who dropped out of high school thinking I was too smart. The truth is that I have ADHD. Of course, it is unofficially diagnosed, but reports from those who know me state that I am a poster boy for ADHD. So, while I thought I had the smarts, I didn’t.
I ended up doing a lot of jobs, but one day my hyperfocus was activated by someone commenting on how I always talked about the kitchen, so I should probably do that. I made it my mission to become a chef.
I was told I couldn’t get into school; the waiting list was a year-and-a-half. I got in after a month of calling.
I was told during class that I would never be a chef (I had just messed up a practical test where I scored a 100% on the theory test).
I was told no one would follow me.
I proved them all wrong.
Except myself.
Now, I no longer work in the kitchen, but have transitioned (using my skills as a chef and manager) to using computers in day-to-day operations. I am searching to become a writer, using AI in my toolbox.
What Will I Write About?
My goal is simple yet daunting: to develop my writing skills, share my journey, and maybe inspire someone else who’s struggling with the same fears. I’ll be journaling my thoughts, experiences, and ideas, hoping to generate content that resonates.
Given my over 30 years of experience cooking, expect to see a mix of:
- Culinary Adventures: Stories from my time as a chef, recipes, and cooking tips.
- Culinary Traditions: Exploring and sharing the rich traditions behind various dishes and cooking techniques.
- Systems and Productivity: Insights from my quest to streamline life and set achievable goals, especially in the kitchen.
- Personal Reflections: Sharing my daily experiences, challenges, and victories.
- Mental Health: Discussing my battles with impostor syndrome and how I cope.
- Parenting: The ups and downs of raising kids while managing personal fears.
- Creative Processes: Exploring different techniques and systems to foster creativity, both in writing and cooking.
I invite you to join me on this journey. Whether you’re a fellow writer, a reader, or someone battling their own impostor syndrome, let’s support each other. Share your thoughts, your fears, and your victories. Let’s grow together.
Here’s to the start of something terrifyingly exciting.