I was pretty excited about them.
I checked them daily, and found myself skimming the top because of some wild yeast.
A little over a week ago, I decided I wasn’t going to fuck around with the yeast growth anymore. I’d done some research, bounced what I was seeing off Gemini, and everything seemed normal enough—but I’d reached the limit of how adventurous I felt like being. I kept thinking, “I do not want to fuck these up.”
Only one problem to fix before we could call this test done. I still had to eat one. It took another day to work up the nerve:
I don’t know if I fucked them up—or if I’m just not used to that flavour.
Nothing about them screamed failure. Maybe I’m just expecting that sharp, vinegary deli pickle you get beside a burger.
Dill. Garlic. Salt. Crunch. Vinegar.
These weren’t that.
After Mrs Sandemano’s taste test—she caught me red-handed eating these straight out of the jar—we agreed they were missing acid more than anything.
So I added two tablespoons of apple cider vinegar and put them back in the fridge. Hopefully, they’d improve.
A couple of days later, I tried another one.
Ehh…5/10?
They’re better. The vinegar got them a little closer to what my brain apparently thinks a pickle is supposed to taste like.
Still, I’m not exactly standing here thinking, fuck yeah, check out this pickle.
I also noticed this weird white webbing on the skin.
Which made me wonder if I’d managed to grow something new and exciting.
I looked it up with Gemini. Apparently it’s “stomata and lenticels”—part of the cucumber itself. I had to double-check that because the explanation sounded like bullshit.
I’d bore you with the extensive rabbit hole, but you can go down that one yourself. Stomata & lenticels. Apparently it’s a whole thing. I learned something.
Also, reflecting on it—shit. Salt. I added more liquid to an already-established brine without adding any more salt, which means I also changed the salt concentration.
Did that matter at this point, especially once they were refrigerated? I don’t know yet.
So rather than continue standing in my kitchen suspiciously eating pickles by myself, I’m taking them to a party tonight.
Verdict à venir. Maybe I fucked up the pickles. Maybe I need to get used to lacto-fermented pickles. Or maybe there’s something interesting in the middle.
Either way, I’m apparently making more pickles.
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