UPDATE — September 12, 2026
Apparently this experiment wasn’t finished fucking with me.
I was about to throw these pickles out today and decided to taste one first. After another couple of weeks sitting in the vinegar, they’ve actually improved.
The Sous tried them too, and we came to the same conclusion: they’re better. They’re funky, but in a good way. The only problem is that the apple cider vinegar flavour has taken over.
So Batch #1 isn’t going in the garbage after all.
It’s becoming dill pickle relish.
I’ll take the win.
Meanwhile, I tried Batch #2. That went… differently.
Back to the original post:
I was pretty excited about them.
I checked them daily, and found myself skimming the top because of some wild yeast.
A little over a week ago, I decided I wasn’t going to fuck around with the yeast growth anymore. I’d done some research, bounced what I was seeing off Gemini, and everything seemed normal enough—but I’d reached the limit of how adventurous I felt like being. I kept thinking, “I do not want to fuck these up.”
Only one problem to fix before we could call this test done. I still had to eat one. It took another day to work up the nerve:
I don’t know if I fucked them up—or if I’m just not used to that flavour.
Nothing about them screamed failure. Maybe I’m just expecting that sharp, vinegary deli pickle you get beside a burger.
Dill. Garlic. Salt. Crunch. Vinegar.
These weren’t that.
After Mrs Sandemano’s taste test—she caught me red-handed eating these straight out of the jar—we agreed they were missing acid more than anything.
So I added two tablespoons of apple cider vinegar and put them back in the fridge. Hopefully, they’d improve.
A couple of days later, I tried another one.
Ehh…5/10?
They’re better. The vinegar got them a little closer to what my brain apparently thinks a pickle is supposed to taste like.
Still, I’m not exactly standing here thinking, fuck yeah, check out this pickle.
I also noticed this weird white webbing on the skin.
Which made me wonder if I’d managed to grow something new and exciting.
I looked it up with Gemini. Apparently it’s “stomata and lenticels”—part of the cucumber itself. I had to double-check that because the explanation sounded like bullshit.
I’d bore you with the extensive rabbit hole, but you can go down that one yourself. Stomata & lenticels. Apparently it’s a whole thing. I learned something.
Also, reflecting on it—shit. Salt. I added more liquid to an already-established brine without adding any more salt, which means I also changed the salt concentration.
Did that matter at this point, especially once they were refrigerated? I don’t know yet.
So rather than continue standing in my kitchen suspiciously eating pickles by myself, I’m taking them to a party tonight.
Verdict à venir. Maybe I fucked up the pickles. Maybe I need to get used to lacto-fermented pickles. Or maybe there’s something interesting in the middle.
Either way, I’m apparently making more pickles.
Leave a Reply