So I Bought a Bag of Green Onions at Costco.

Look, I’ve bought these before and I’ll buy them again. 24 green onions for $6.99 is a better deal than 3 for 99 cents — you don’t need a Red Seal to do that math.

The problem? I have a history with green onions. Specifically, a history of turning them into fridge slime before I get any real use out of them.

So here’s what happened this time.

I get home from Costco. These things sat on the counter for six hours while I put groceries away, butchered a pork loin, cooked supper, and played Tetris with the fridge. No room. Green onions lose.

I managed to use some in a “vegan” kimchi Jjigae ramen. Chopped enough for a small container. That’s 2 out of 24.

The rest? Spent the night on the counter. In the bag. Same bag they came home in. Same bag Costco had refrigerated before I bought them.

They’rea in the fridge now. Finally. But the clock is ticking and I’ve got 22 green onions staring at me every time I open the door.

Ever wonder—So what the hell do I do with these before they go sideways?

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